10 Things you’re guaranteed to hear on a bachelor party

You’ll be guaranteed to hear at least a few of these quotes on your weekend of madness.
1) “Where’s Jimmy?”

Someone will inevitably show up to the wrong bus station / airport / pub car park. They’ll make it with seconds to spare only to realise they’ve forgotten their passport.

2) “Who wants a shot?!”

Always from the mouth of the guy who brought a plastic bag of booze to the meeting point at 5am. Everyone is hating it. Everyone does at least one.

3) “You guys up for hitting the strip club?”

The fella who brings it up at 11am before you’ve even left the airport terminal.


Annoying. Unnecessary. Expensive. You do at least 15 shots a night.

5) “Do I have to wear it? Just kill me now.”

The groom to be’s reaction to the horrific, testical revealing fancy dress they have to wear for the whole weekend. They know it’s coming. They’ve lost sleep over it. Now it’s revealed. And they hate you for it.

6) “Did you see her?!”

Usually when you’re in Vegas. You hear someone say it every minute for the first 3 hours until it gets exhausting.

7) “Here, guys, seriously, where are we going?”

Always the next day when everyone is in zombie-like state, vomiting on street corners, in bins, on self. No one has a clue what to do mainly because of the alcohol steaming out of their eyeballs. That is until you see the golden arches of McDonald’s.

8) “I’m hurting.”

The pain. The horrible pain. You need booze to normalise but you’re body won’t except it. You must find the balance to keep it down. It’s an art that most don’t perfect.

9) “I’m heading back to the hotel.”

The grooms dad. He’s an old guy who’s best boozing years are behind him but he’s put in a massive effort. Hats off to him, he’s given just as good as the next man but it takes its toll and he’s usually off to bed early on the 2nd night.

10)“Two nights is definitely enough.”

You’re in the airport on the way home, a shell of your former self. You’ve had a couple of pints and you can’t wait for your bed. No one say it. Everyone is thinking it.

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